Sometimes Being Sick is a Bonus…

It has been a while since I have updated or posted anything, and for that I am full of regret. Primarily because it means I have been doing nothing.

The last few months have been harder than I care to admit. Not only did I not get the job that I truly wanted, one which would have seen my situation stabilised significantly, I also discovered that the changes to my current job were far extensive than I was previously led to believe. This has left me in a position where my personal morals are being tested on a near daily basis – something I had not been prepared for during my training over a year ago. In turn, this has meant that I have been returning home in a mental state that has left my unable to work on anything related to arts and crafts – and on my days off I have been putting myself in positions where I am not able to craft. This has been a choice I made because I simply did not have the willpower or energy required to actually get off my arse and do something.

This has, unsurprisingly, left me in something of a rut, as I struggle to find my creative flow while at the same time face exhaustion dealing with a job I no longer care for. There seems to be a repeating pattern in my life that, just when I think I have found something that I enjoy, something changes and it is no longer the job I signed up for. Perhaps it’s just bad luck, or perhaps it is some Greater Power’s less-than-subtle way of telling me something, but either way, it has become incredibly frustrating. I know what it is I want to do with my life, but I am stuck with how to actually get there. We have no savings, nobody in my family can (or will) give me a loan or assist me, and I am already in a position where I have maxed out my business credit card in order to pay for last year’s exhibition. Which, I might add, was of no financial benefit to me in the end at all.

So how can someone be creative when everything around them seems to want to make them miserable?

Well, over the past week, I have been quite ill with a cold. I have had this cold for a full seven days now, and it is only now showing signs of easing off. It effected my throat, my ears and my sinuses, as well as giving me hot flushes, severe pain and dizziness. And for the first time in months, I have been thinking about creative things in a more positive light. I have been completely unable to do anything about it, as I have mostly been laid up in bed, but it has given me the opportunity to think about what I want from my creative pursuits and how I can go about doing them, even when my work life is being an utter…. Well, I’ll let you fill that word in yourself!

So, as I still have a few more days of recovery off work, and I’m feeling a lot less wretched than I did previously (even with no voice and only 50% hearing!) I’m preparing to work on a couple of projects that have been sitting unfinished for some time. These include my mermaid-themed Steampunk outfit, my Haruna (Lady Spring) get-up and a secret project I presented to a friend some time ago, but never got round to starting properly. I have also been given the go-ahead to use an Org from an Alpha-stage game, Star Citizen, as inspiration for a new outfit, which can double over as a costume design for Fire, for the Shades project, which I am still part of.

I will leave you now with some images of a that I created the other day, when the full weight of the illness was not yet on me and I was at a loss for things to do! It is not complete, but right now, the focal piece of it adequately depicts how I have felt for the past few days while stuck in bed!

Reflections on the Year

I know it’s a little early to start with “reflecting on the year” posts, but given that December will be upon us next week, I will shortly be finding out if I have a new post at work, and the dreaded C-word is looming, I figured “Why not?!”.

So, for the most part, this year has been incredibly disappointing in terms of Cosplay and outfit making.

It’s only been recently that I have started making any headway with the blogging on here, and most projects have had to be parked because of a lack of funding.
I didn’t get to any of the Cons that I was supposed to go to this year, except the Asylum, which doesn’t really count because it takes place right on my doorstep and I was exhibiting and doing talks anyway!
I missed MCM Birmingham, which I have been to for the past two years running; I missed LincCon, Lincoln GEEKS, Sheffield ComicCon AND Steampunks in Space. This makes me feel a bit sad, as I have seen a lot of great photos from friends who managed to go and in many ways, I feel a bit left out and isolated. The problem is, I can’t really figure out where it all started slipping downhill, and that’s what upsets me the most. If I knew where it had all started, I could fix it.

Now, a part of me thinks it has something to do with our husky pup, Skye. She was only 8 weeks old when we got her, and raising and training her has been like having another full-time job. She’s wonderful, and I love her to bits, but huskies cannot be left on their own. They get lonely and anxious very easily, and the only way to make it so that we could go anywhere without her, now that she’s no longer crapping on the carpet every five seconds, would be to get another dog, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon.
Having a dog has definitely made life more interesting, but it has limited us in where we can go and what we can do. A lot of our friends have arranged house parties and such which we can’t go to because we can’t bring the dog along with us for various reasons. And the one place that we ARE able to take her we have not been able to go to as much because Skye had a habit of pooping on their hardwood floor. We went from being regular overnight guests to almost never seeing them. And that was such a shame because they were like family to us – they are probably the people I miss most in all of this.
BUT… it was something that we expected to happen, though perhaps not quiet to the scale that it has happened. We’ve just had to take it on the chin and keep on going – there is nothing else that can be done really.

My dog is such a lady…

Another part of me knows that not going to Cons has had a lot to do with the M-word. Money. In that, we have enough to live on, but we can’t spend any more than that.
We got married in September, so every extra penny we had was going towards that and general living costs. Even now that the wedding is over, I’m not willing to go all-out spending on Cons. It’s not like buying in-game currency to enhance your gaming experience. That’s a one-off spend that will benefit your gaming for months, if not years. If you’re clever with your in-game currency buying, you can actually get a really good deal on the things that are usually out of your price range. But a Con is a lot of money to spend on tickets, travel, accommodation, food and puppy-sitters for just one or two days of gratification. Not to mention, I would have to pay for TWO lots of everything. I’m not bitter or angry about that – I understand that Clckwrk can’t earn money in the same way that other people can. It isn’t his fault that he has a shitty disability that makes him unable to work reliably, and I don’t care that he’s not the earner in this relationship. What I AM aware of are my limitations. Last month I got a little bit frivolous with my spending on patterns, fabric and notions, so yes, I was a bit naughty, but I stopped short of buying us both tickets to SiS. I haven’t even bought tickets to the Steampunk Society Christmas Ball, simply because I am considering my limitations.
Now, of course these limitations frustrate me. I am annoyed that I can’t attend all the Cons I want, but I have to be an adult about this. Living and surviving comes first.

Getting married is expensive – just in case you didn’t already know that!

In terms of outfits, progress has been slow. Painfully slow.

I haven’t managed to complete a single outfit this year – not even Valkyria is completely finished, though I did wear a lot of it to the Asylum this year. It’s really quite frustrating that I have so many ideas, and lots of fabric, but I just can’t seem to get anything to a finished state. I’m not sure if that’s because I am handling my time poorly, or if I simply don’t plan ahead in the right way to ensure I have all the notions to hand, or if maybe I just allow myself to go off on a tangent; what I do know is, they just don’t get done.

Lately I have been doing better. I have managed to focus most of my energy on the Mermaid outfit, which has come along quite nicely in the last month or so, and I think I could have it finished by February next year. I am making it a resolution to try and work on only one project at a time, so hopefully there should be some real progress in Cosplays next year.

Steampunk has been pushed to the wayside of late in terms of going out to the local meets. I just don’t have the energy at the moment to spend there, and while I am a bit sad about this, I know that it couldn’t be helped. Clckwrk has also been ill a lot, which has made it difficult to get about in general. This has been particularly hard on him, because he feels that he has failed me, our friends, and himself.
I have, however, been making steady progress on project work for the Shades project, which is great. I hope to take this further next year and maybe get it out and about at more shows, though at the moment I don’t quite know how to make this happen.

Alice modelling an outfit I designed for “Shades”. Working with her is always a pleasure – even if the weather conspires against us!

Well… That’s enough reflecting from me. I don’t really know what much else there is to say. As a whole, the year has been disappointing, but there are some good things to take from it.

Going forward, I have a lot of new stuff planned for the blog which I hope will make it more interesting, including video and showcase content, some new “make-up look” type posts to compliment what I am doing with my outfit designs, plus the ongoing “Starting out in Steampunk” series. I have the Mermaid to finish, and my next (first?!) “big” Cosplay attempt is going to be Death from Darksiders II. At the moment, it’s looking like this is going to be a gender-bent version, but I am trying to refrain from sexualising the character, which is something that someone mentioned to me when I first told them about my intentions. “Are you going to make it a sexy Death?”

Ummm…. No.

I am not a fan of “sexy-for-the-sake-of-it” Cosplay. I think it’s wholly unnecessary, and I am quite a modest person anyway, so the thought of creating a “Sexy Darksiders Death” makes me want to vomit. I’m more interested in recreating the rendered armour and weapons as accurately as I can, and then dealing with the issue of boobs later!

Just A Little Note

Those of you who follow my blog may notice that my theme changes a lot in the next week or so. For this I apologise, but bear with me.

Right now, I am reassessing how I work when it comes to Cosplay, Steampunk, blogging, writing and crafting as a whole. I want to dedicate more time to it, and I want to be taken more seriously with the things that I do. However, that also means that I truly have to find how I want to be seen online, and for that, I have to find a look that really suits me and what I am trying to achieve.

So, for the next few days you may see my theme change fairly frequently as I play with designs and look for something that really speaks to me. Please bear with me and I hope you will like the finished product when I’m done playing around!

Announcement from Fair Visions

Fair Visions has made a little announcement and I’m helping to share it!

So, the announcement is official! “Shades” will be at Weekend at the Asylum 2016! There’s a lot of work still to be done, so check out the post below to see if you can help!

http://charli313.wix.com/shadesproject#!Announcement-Asylum-2016/c23lg/576fbe390cf231749dc6a3da

The FB Page is Live!

As the title suggests, I have finally gotten around to publishing my Facebook page. It’s been floating around for a while, but I never had the guts to actually go ahead with publishing it.

So, if you have a moment, please go and have a look. There’s not much on there at the moment, but I hope to update it at least every couple of days, so do keep checking back!

https://www.facebook.com/lilyrosekenneally/

Shades – A Project from Fair Visions

In case some of you didn’t already know, I am currently involved in a photography project from Fair Visions Photography called “Shades”.  At the moment, it is still in the development stage, but that has been shortened considerably as interest in the project has meant that it has to have at least some images by the end of August.  Things are now accelerating and getting support for the project has become critical.  So much so, that there is a Kickstarter currently being developed to help the project on its way.  That’s not live yet, but if you keep an eye here, I will let you know when it does release.

The project can be seen online on Facebook, and on it’s website; the links are below.  I hope you will join me in supporting this project, as it’s something a little bit different and I hope that it really takes off!

https://www.facebook.com/TheShadesProject

http://charli313.wix.com/shadesproject

Featured Images reproduced with permission from Fair Visions.  Not for use without permission.

My First Confession

Hello, my name is Lily, and at this moment in time, I am a Cosplay Neophyte.

No, that’s not as nasty as it sounds.  It simply means that I have never been to a cosplay event as a Cosplayer before.  I have never (outside of a fancy dress party which doesn’t really count) created an outfit myself from scratch, ever.  I have modelled for friends with their Steampunk creations, and I have even been known to make the odd thing for myself, but I have never completed an entire outfit or costume.

And the really sad part is, that I have no real, solid idea as to why!

I have always loved making things – from designing clothes to crafting sculptures.  Last year, I taught myself to chain maille.  The year before, I taught myself to sew toys.  Before that, for four years I was learning how to take and edit photographs professionally, and the year before THAT I was at college learning about contemporary art, 3D installation and performance art.  I have always been a crafter and painter.  I have always made things.  And I have always loved dressing up.

So why oh why had I never even considered attending a convention and cosplaying?

It could’ve been money.  We have never been particularly well off, and attending them simply cost too much, both in terms of creating costumes and the actual cost of attending.
It could also have been the stigma attached to them.  Where I grew up, anything even slightly “nerdy” was frowned upon, and I was met on a daily basis with bullying and abuse just because I read books that didn’t have even one picture and was smart enough to know which wire went where in a plug.  I also knew about the Russian Revolution when I was ten and was able to describe the parallels in George Orwell’s “Animal Farm”.  Perhaps I was afraid of getting more abuse because I attended a Con.
It could also have been that I was worried about stepping into a “man’s world”.  I had been led to believe that conventions were the realm of the male nerd, and while I knew that it simply wasn’t true, I was a little afraid to step into that area.
And maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with my terrible self-confidence.  It wasn’t until I created the “Lily Rose Kenneally” punksona that I truly began to open out and become more confident.

I suppose the truth of the matter is that all of these things had an impact.  But now I intend to change that.

In November, I am going to be attending MCM ComicCon in Birmingham with my partner and our friends.  They invited us to go with them when we mentioned that we had never been (except that one time in London when we went along with the Victorian Steampunk Society as traders) and that we would really love to go in a non-trading capacity.  As I start a new job at the beginning of November, we decided to treat ourselves and go along.  Right now, I am working on an outfit that I have been planning for quite some time – an original Steampunk-inspired outfit based on the mythical character, LeFay, mother of Morgan le Fay, Goddess of the Sea, and Protector of Avalon.

As it stands, I have no idea of any characters I would actually like to cosplay, only original characters!  I am hoping to come up with more ideas in time, but as I find it difficult to relate to a lot of female characters in film and books, I will most probably end up gender-bending male characters!

I suppose I shall end my first confession there, as I have nothing left to confess!  I hope to show the results of some of my crafting very soon though, so I do hope you will come back to see where my journey is taking me!